I Waited
by XxTwistedThornxX
Summary: You glanced over your shoulder and smiled, cocking your gun with a spark in your eyes.  I couldn't resist smiling back, bracing myself against the door. I waited to step into Hell beside you. SPOILERS FOR ALL THREE GAMES!


**I tried to give this a more poetic feel without making it poetry. I don't feel like I quite accomplished that, but I feel confident enough to post this. The three games are each divided into their own chapter to keep it from being too long and drawn out.**

**EDITED: 5/24/2012 Added some scenes, fixed some typos, and converted the three chapters into a one-shot.**

I waited.

I waited on the Presidium. Even as Pallin and I argued, my eyes sought nothing but you. I knew you would be the only one to understand the reason I _needed_to do this. I had come up empty handed in my investigation but I knew you were right about Saren. All humans look alike, but I recognized you in the middle of your squad mates despite never having met you face to face. You stood with squared shoulders, eyes sharp and calculating. Your very posture radiated authority and I _knew_you would be the only one who could bring that rogue to justice.

You were patient and listened to my appeal attentively, disregarding the fact that you had just witnessed me arguing with my superior. Any Turian would have scowled or looked down upon me, but you…well, you were no Turian.

You thanked me for my "hard work" and promised that Saren would be stopped. That cock-sure grin, the same you adopted for all your speeches, put my mind at rest, and for reasons I hadn't understood, I trusted you. I believed in you.

So, I waited.

I waited in the clinic. I watched the thugs corner Dr. Michel, knowing that I couldn't take them all alone. The sound of the clinic door hissing open captured their attention and you caught them off guard by charging in. Relief swept through me and I popped out of cover and took the shot, dropping the last thug with a triumphant flare of my mandibles.

But, my pride was quickly deflated. You rounded on me with a fire in your eyes that would stop a charging Krogan in its tracks. Your blunt, human teeth were bared, venom dripping from your lips as you reprimanded me like a mother catching her son with his hand in the sweets jar.

I felt so small in that moment, turning meekly to Dr. Michel to assure myself that my rash action hadn't harmed her. Your rage ebbed as quickly as it had sprung, you comforted the shaken doctor, and then didn't refuse me when I volunteered to come along. In fact, you revealed that you had been looking for me from the start.

I readied my rifle and took the pose of a soldier, waiting for your orders.

I waited to hear your voice on the radio. I could hear the smile in your voice despite the war that raged around us. Geth were crawling around the Citadel, plasma shots zipping past us in a bright shower. I saw Tali duck behind cover and you rushed ahead, a very human cheer erupting in my ear-piece as you took down a Juggernaut.

Cutting through their forces, you stopped us in front of the Council Chambers. You glanced over your shoulder and smiled, cocking your gun with a spark in your eyes. I couldn't resist smiling back as I braced myself against the door.

I waited to step into Hell beside you.

* * *

><p>I waited in an escape shuttle, watching the monitors on the side panel. There was no sign of you in any of the other pods. My blood ran cold as I looked out the window just in time to see what was left of the Normandy erupt into flame and be sucked into the atmosphere of Alchera. I waited to hear a transmission from you, asking the status of the survivors.<p>

Even when the shuttles docked, I waited.

I waited for two years. Trying to get on with my life as you would have wanted me to. I hunted and did things that I thought would make you proud. I tried to make the galaxy a safer place, a better place, to live on by your example and complete trust in my team. That was my mistake.

So, I waited for the end. The mercs had my base surrounded and I knew it was only a matter of time before they made it to me. But, I couldn't face you in the afterlife if I didn't take some of them down with me. I thought it strange at first, that the only thing on my mind was you. Not Sidonis's betrayal or the decimation of my team, but of what it was like to serve under your command.

My visor alerted me to invaders on the staircase and I closed my eyes in resignation. I waited for the shots that would end my life.

I didn't know that I was just waiting to hear your voice again.

I waited for your signal. My talons twitched on the trigger of my rifle, the back of your head obscuring my view of Sidonis. I felt a rage that I hadn't experienced since his initial betrayal and I was desperate that he know the extent of my fury. If only I didn't have to be so quick about it, if only I could shoot him once for each member of my team instead of one, clean blast to the head.

I told you I had a clear shot, all you needed to do was step away.

You refused.

I was already angry. For a brief moment I considered taking out _two_ traitors with one bullet. That was the thought that gave me pause.

"Revenge proves its own executioner," you warned. At first it was nothing to me but human nonsense, but as you turned toward me, your hard eyes staring through my scope, I knew that you were right. Again.

I lowered my rifle and told you to let him go, turning back for the carport. I waited for you to lecture me, to say "I told you so," or reprimand me for such a waste of time. When you returned, you put your hand on my shoulder, smiled softly, and said, "I'm proud of you."

I never knew how long I had been waiting to hear those words.

I waited outside your cabin. Pacing and wracking my brain, wondering if this was a good idea. I had wanted it, _Spirits_Shepard, you don't know how badly I wanted it. But, I feared of ruining our camaraderie should things go wrong. It had been a foolish thought, not just because we could have very well died that next day.

I just didn't know how badly you wanted it, too.

I rambled. I tried to remove the possibility of an awkward silence, keep things smooth so I wouldn't screw something else up. You giggled and I wasn't sure if it was a good sign or bad. That first touch against the bandaged side of my face was sheer electricity. My veins erupted at the contact and I couldn't resist the urge to feel more of you.

I brushed my forehead against yours and felt unspeakable elation when you returned the gesture. Then, it was your turn. The feel of your soft, pliable lips against my carapace was alien, but not unwelcome.

That night, we started something I hoped would never end. You killed me with touch, enlivened me with words. I dominated, I submitted, I took, and I treasured.

And when it was over, I waited to wake with you in my arms.

I waited with a pit in my stomach. The Collectors were a near overwhelming force. I had to stop myself from begging to fight by your side during the battle against the Reaper, after all the missions where I had been at your side I couldn't believe you were leaving me behind. But, your decision had been made.

You gave me the order to keep our team- our _friends_- alive and I planned to follow them. My aim was steady, my shots true. But, my mind was clouded with worry.

Your voice was a musical relief as you ordered us to fall back to the Normandy, that the base was going down. I remember relaying the command, shooting down one more wave, covering the rest as they hurried to the rendezvous point. We made it to the ship before you and I watched eagerly for any sign of your team in the chaos.

Thane leapt on board, followed by Jack. The Normandy was already departing in order to beat the explosion. I saw you in the distance, fending off the remaining forces. I called out to you and you turned, dashing for the ship with wide eyes. The floor began to give out from under you and time stood still as you made a last-ditch leap for the ship. I moved without thinking, grabbing your hand and hauling you on board.

As the Normandy kicked into warp drive and celebratory cheers erupted around us, I waited for you to let go of my hand.

Instead, you rested your head on my shoulder.

* * *

><p>I waited for a miracle.<p>

Palaven was just short of a bright flaming orb on the horizon. The sound of screams and gunfire was a deafening roar in my ears. I fought back curses, hating the galaxy for not heeding your warnings. You fought to destroy the Collectors. You fought to prove that the Reapers were coming in force. And how did they repay you? They stripped you of your rank, forcing you into some office back on Earth.

They stole you away from me.

For six months, I waited for some sort of message. I assured myself that office work kept you busy or that you didn't have the means of intergalactic communication available to you, especially after the Reaper attacks. I wouldn't let myself believe you had forgotten about me, or worse.

Then, I saw you and a man I didn't recognize at the moon base. Even with the war erupting around us, I despised how chummy the two of you seemed. But, I forced myself to remain calm, I had to be a soldier first and a man later. I saw a light in your eyes when you recognized me and I couldn't help but grin when you asked for me to join you. Fighting by your side came as naturally as breathing, our bullets and bodies perfectly synchronized as we took down wave after wave of Husks and Marauders.

I watched you exchange a victorious glance with the man-James. I waited for you to kiss me after all the time that had passed.

Waited while none came.

I waited in the Main Battery. Empty, trying to blindly hold on to the hope you had instilled into all your soldiers. My home was in flames, no word on my family, and it seemed what we had shared half a year ago was just a distant memory to you. When the doors hissed open behind me, I was on the intercom with Joker and didn't think about who it could be. But, when I felt the spark of your fingers caressing my scarred flesh, I disconnected.

Your voice was soft, saying everything I had wished you would say and more. It was as though a part of me had been lost for the past half-year and was now set firmly in place with your lips pressed against mine.

You were mine and I was yours. Waiting, it seemed, had paid off.

Then, we waited together. Waited for the end of this war that seemed impossible to win. We were each other's rock, crying on each other's shoulder and comforting in turn. You kept me by your side on every mission, I felt…_strong_ when you admitted to feeling empty without me.

There were times when we just needed to feel normal. I took you on our first date, to the top of the Presidium where you said the words I had been dreaming of for so long. We kissed and laughed as though we were young again, in love and alive for the first time. We were caught by C-Sec after a half-hour and brought to the station like rebellious teenagers. As we were reprimanded by Bailey, it was very hard to keep from smiling. Your fingers laced with my talons as you apologized and we laughed as we were sent on our way.

Back on the Normandy, with you resting in my arms, I vowed that nothing would keep us apart again. Come Thresher Maw, Husks, Brutes or Reapers, I would defend you until my dying breath. There was no Garrus Vakarian without Shepard.

I would just have to wait for the right time to make you mine completely.

I waited for your answer. The final fight was upon us, the Reaper destroying the place you called "London." It wasn't romantic, it wasn't planned. But, the words came out before I could stop them, not that I regretted them. You smiled, ran your armored hand along my face and kissed me as though it would be the last time.

With that grin I loved more than air, you told me I'd have my answer once we "won this damn war!" I smiled and swore to hold you to it, following you to the field with my rifle cocked and ready.

I waited for an answer that never came.

On a green planet I had never seen before, after waking up in the Normandy as it was sucked through the warp, I waited for contact. We had fought so hard for the galaxy, for _us_. Even as the years passed and turned to decades, I waited for some sign.

Ships were repaired, new relays were built. I was able to return to Palaven, in all its reconstructed glory. But, the galaxy was as empty as the feeling in my chest. Men I had fought side-by-side with would salute me on the street, but I did not see them.

We became legends. Children were named after the two of us. But, every time I heard your name being called I'd stop whatever I was doing and search for you for hours like a man possessed.

I'm still waiting.

The war with the Reapers was won, but some things never change. Soldiers were still needed and I would be damned to have lived the rest of my life alone in comfortable retirement. I hadn't noticed the stray bullet until I felt it erupt inside me. It had been a while since I came into contact with explosive rounds and I fell to the ground instantly, the blue of my blood pooling around me. I heard medics scramble towards me, shouting my name and preparing medi-gel until they could get me into surgery.

I managed to work my vocal chords enough to call them off, I ordered for them to help me stand and they helped me limp to the infirmary. When a Salarian doctor approached me, I dismissed him and ordered for him not to waste resources when there were others that could still be saved.

I'm old now, Shepard. Maybe not a withered old Turian like my father was, but I'm not as strong as I used to be. I am, however, wiser. I learned so much from you, watching you, fighting for you, loving you. I've learned that death would come for me eventually and that even a legend can't evade it forever. Another lesson you taught me the hard way.

I feel cold, but a buzz is humming through my veins. I close my eyes and pretend it's your caress. I imagine the life we could have had, retired in that tropical paradise, human and turian children running around our home, calling you "mother."

I manage a chuckle at the thought, but it brings only pain. I grunt and sigh, feeling the survival instinct ebbing away inside of me.

What an honor it would have been to grow old with you, Commander. But now, all I can do is lay here. My eyelids are too heavy to open even if I wanted to, my body is shivering from all the blood I've lost. I realize there are hands working on me, though I know it's already too late to "save" me.

I've waited for this moment, Shepard. You don't know for how long. And I know once the pain stops, when my breath leaves me in one final sigh, I'll wait for you to guide me home.

And I know that you've been waiting for me, too.

**While I was not pleased with the endings of ME3, I will not bash them. I respect the artistic aspirations of Bioware, but that does not mean I don't eagerly wait for a patch or DLC to add more closure. Were it not for the original endings, however, this fic would never have been born.**


End file.
